A journal documenting our journey to the end of the world
LIGHT SHINING OUT OF DARKNESS
May 30, 2008
Written By: William Cowper (1731-1800)
God moves in a mysterious way,
His wonders to perform;
He plants his footsteps in the sea,
And rides upon the storm.
Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never-failing skill,
He treasures up his bright designs,
And works his sov'reign will.
Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take,
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy, and shall break
In blessings on your head.
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust him for his grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.
His purposes will ripen fasts,
Unfolding ev'ry hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flow'r.
Blind unbelief is sure to err,
And scan his work in vain;
God is his own interpreter,
And he will make it plain.
May 30, 2008
Written By: William Cowper (1731-1800)
God moves in a mysterious way,
His wonders to perform;
He plants his footsteps in the sea,
And rides upon the storm.
Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never-failing skill,
He treasures up his bright designs,
And works his sov'reign will.
Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take,
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy, and shall break
In blessings on your head.
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust him for his grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.
His purposes will ripen fasts,
Unfolding ev'ry hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flow'r.
Blind unbelief is sure to err,
And scan his work in vain;
God is his own interpreter,
And he will make it plain.
OUR NEW HOME
May 28, 2008
My wife recently wrote on her blog that this is our 9th home in nine months. Enough said about that.
Our house is very nice and very large. We have four bedrooms and one bathroom. We even have a hospital with American and British doctors and surgeons but lets hope we don't need to visit them for any business. We have both electricity and running water and get this, as I sit beside the far left window I'm connected to the internet uploading this photo via WiFi. How did Paul ever accomplish his journeys and writings without WiFi?
Anyway, hope you like the picture. I'll be posting more photos in our "Chad - Chapter 2" album.
May 28, 2008
My wife recently wrote on her blog that this is our 9th home in nine months. Enough said about that.
Our house is very nice and very large. We have four bedrooms and one bathroom. We even have a hospital with American and British doctors and surgeons but lets hope we don't need to visit them for any business. We have both electricity and running water and get this, as I sit beside the far left window I'm connected to the internet uploading this photo via WiFi. How did Paul ever accomplish his journeys and writings without WiFi?
Anyway, hope you like the picture. I'll be posting more photos in our "Chad - Chapter 2" album.
TO LIVE IS CHRIST (Video)
May 20, 2007
The steel bird stretches its wings in defiance of my understanding. Every time I climb into the belly of an airplane I feel like I’m stepping into a mystery. How can a machine weighing up to 315,000 lbs successfully lift off the ground to an altitude of 35,000 ft only to then gently land after reaching 530 mph? Maybe E. Lynn could explain the physics but calculus formulas don’t give me much comfort as I must tie myself to this bird with a 156 ft wingspan. Though I say all this, I do like flying, at least the first 30 seconds and the last 30 seconds.
Before stepping inside any airplane I have a private ritual that I’ve never told anybody before. Because airplanes seem dangerous I always lay my hands on the aircraft and pray before entering. You probably wouldn’t notice even if you stood behind me but as I wait for the kids to walk in front I place my hand on the plane as if to brace myself before stepping inside. It is then that I pray, “To live is Christ and die is gain.” To live usually means stepping off that same plane in another country as we walk in obedience. To die is to be with Christ. So tomorrow evening at about 7:30 I will lay my hand on the steel bird, whisper my prayer, and only God knows what awaits us on the other side.
The video with this entry is an ode to my wife who has followed me around the world. I love her more than words and I will be forever grateful that she answered “yes” when asked, “would you go with me?”
Click on photo to play the movie file which is the last 10 years of our lives put to a song.
May 20, 2007
The steel bird stretches its wings in defiance of my understanding. Every time I climb into the belly of an airplane I feel like I’m stepping into a mystery. How can a machine weighing up to 315,000 lbs successfully lift off the ground to an altitude of 35,000 ft only to then gently land after reaching 530 mph? Maybe E. Lynn could explain the physics but calculus formulas don’t give me much comfort as I must tie myself to this bird with a 156 ft wingspan. Though I say all this, I do like flying, at least the first 30 seconds and the last 30 seconds.
Before stepping inside any airplane I have a private ritual that I’ve never told anybody before. Because airplanes seem dangerous I always lay my hands on the aircraft and pray before entering. You probably wouldn’t notice even if you stood behind me but as I wait for the kids to walk in front I place my hand on the plane as if to brace myself before stepping inside. It is then that I pray, “To live is Christ and die is gain.” To live usually means stepping off that same plane in another country as we walk in obedience. To die is to be with Christ. So tomorrow evening at about 7:30 I will lay my hand on the steel bird, whisper my prayer, and only God knows what awaits us on the other side.
The video with this entry is an ode to my wife who has followed me around the world. I love her more than words and I will be forever grateful that she answered “yes” when asked, “would you go with me?”
Click on photo to play the movie file which is the last 10 years of our lives put to a song.
WOODS BETWEEN THE WORLDS
May 15, 2008
The beginning of this week my wife and I went away for a few days into the mountains surrounding Cannan Valley, WV. The cabin was gently nestled into the hills and guarded by the imposing trees. For two short days I was simply Steve. Normally I am many men living in many worlds. I am a son, pastor, and friend living in a world called normal but I am also a stranger, team leader, and student in a world known as the Sahel.
With one foot still standing in America we prepare to leave on Saturday in our return to Chad. Five days later we will drive across the border to Cameroon until the situation continues to stabilize. With a single step we will jump into yet another pond only to find ourselves in another world, culture, and setting. Our world is always changing and as we look to the future I only see more and more ponds but no home. These two days were peaceful as we sat in the stillness of the woods between our worlds. I could get lost in these woods as purpose in drowned by the silence of peace but there is a whisper of home that calls us forward into worlds yet unseen until finally we will be home.
May 15, 2008
The beginning of this week my wife and I went away for a few days into the mountains surrounding Cannan Valley, WV. The cabin was gently nestled into the hills and guarded by the imposing trees. For two short days I was simply Steve. Normally I am many men living in many worlds. I am a son, pastor, and friend living in a world called normal but I am also a stranger, team leader, and student in a world known as the Sahel.
With one foot still standing in America we prepare to leave on Saturday in our return to Chad. Five days later we will drive across the border to Cameroon until the situation continues to stabilize. With a single step we will jump into yet another pond only to find ourselves in another world, culture, and setting. Our world is always changing and as we look to the future I only see more and more ponds but no home. These two days were peaceful as we sat in the stillness of the woods between our worlds. I could get lost in these woods as purpose in drowned by the silence of peace but there is a whisper of home that calls us forward into worlds yet unseen until finally we will be home.
CONTROLLED SURRENDER
May 1, 2008
"Just how close can I get Lord to my surrender without loosing all control."
- Casting Crowns, Somewhere in the Middle
I'm sitting here in a comfortable chair made by IKEA with carpet covering the floor beneath my feet while looking at a picture of myself from another life. That is us driving through the Sahel with the sun setting against the horizon. We were pulling into the town where we set up our home but have not seen in the last five months. A house with my guitar, clothes, and language study materials.
Somewhere in the middle is where we live, physically and spiritually it seems. As we prepare for our return I empathize with Abraham in leaving his home wihtout knowing the destination. I want to be surrendered to God but our lives feel so out of control that I reach out to grab hold to something other than God. Why do joy and pain live so close together?
May 1, 2008
"Just how close can I get Lord to my surrender without loosing all control."
- Casting Crowns, Somewhere in the Middle
I'm sitting here in a comfortable chair made by IKEA with carpet covering the floor beneath my feet while looking at a picture of myself from another life. That is us driving through the Sahel with the sun setting against the horizon. We were pulling into the town where we set up our home but have not seen in the last five months. A house with my guitar, clothes, and language study materials.
Somewhere in the middle is where we live, physically and spiritually it seems. As we prepare for our return I empathize with Abraham in leaving his home wihtout knowing the destination. I want to be surrendered to God but our lives feel so out of control that I reach out to grab hold to something other than God. Why do joy and pain live so close together?
TO BEE OR NOT TO BEE
April 21, 2008
OK, sorry for the cheesy title. My father-in-law, better known as Poppa, started keeping bees about 5 years ago. My oldest boy loves bugs so for our return home Elijah has his very own bee keeping suit so he could get up close and personal.
If you look close at the picture you'll see many of the bees flying around him but he never seemed to mind. He would hold out his hands hoping they would land on him and was only sad when it was time to walk away.
There is nothing deep or profound to write about today except to say that "family" is such a blessing in our lives. It would be extraordinarily difficult to reach out to the ends of the world unless we were standing with firm footing.
For more pictures look in our "Back in America 2008" album.
April 21, 2008
OK, sorry for the cheesy title. My father-in-law, better known as Poppa, started keeping bees about 5 years ago. My oldest boy loves bugs so for our return home Elijah has his very own bee keeping suit so he could get up close and personal.
If you look close at the picture you'll see many of the bees flying around him but he never seemed to mind. He would hold out his hands hoping they would land on him and was only sad when it was time to walk away.
There is nothing deep or profound to write about today except to say that "family" is such a blessing in our lives. It would be extraordinarily difficult to reach out to the ends of the world unless we were standing with firm footing.
For more pictures look in our "Back in America 2008" album.
FISH STORY
April 17, 2008
I love West Virginia and I love sitting down by the river with a fishing rod in my hand. This is an experience I shared with my Dad and one that I've longed to share with my boys. We got a late start and then most of the time was getting everybody set-up before we fished but nothing was biting. My boy Silas was the smallest so he got the oldest rod and at one point I looked over and he was holding on for dear life. "Help, I can't hold it "was his reply as the bottom part of his reel broke free and the rod was doubled over. By the time I got over to help I was convinced he was hooked to a log as broken limbs moved under the water. Being lazy I didn't want to tie everything up again so I slowly worked trying to move the limb closer in until it became obvious that in reality Silas did catch a fish and not just a dead piece of wood.
Some fish stories are just that but this time my boy caught a big one. Needless to say the kids are anxious to return with me to the river.
April 17, 2008
I love West Virginia and I love sitting down by the river with a fishing rod in my hand. This is an experience I shared with my Dad and one that I've longed to share with my boys. We got a late start and then most of the time was getting everybody set-up before we fished but nothing was biting. My boy Silas was the smallest so he got the oldest rod and at one point I looked over and he was holding on for dear life. "Help, I can't hold it "was his reply as the bottom part of his reel broke free and the rod was doubled over. By the time I got over to help I was convinced he was hooked to a log as broken limbs moved under the water. Being lazy I didn't want to tie everything up again so I slowly worked trying to move the limb closer in until it became obvious that in reality Silas did catch a fish and not just a dead piece of wood.
Some fish stories are just that but this time my boy caught a big one. Needless to say the kids are anxious to return with me to the river.
BROKEN GROWTH
April 17, 2008
It is difficult to be transparent when people are looking at you. Since returning to America I hesitate to write because the people I see everyday will possibly read the words I'm writing now. I prefer to write from a distance.
I also don't know what picture best captures what I'm feeling and thinking at the moment. I feel a sense of joy and brokenness, life and death, growth and atrophy all at the same time.
I love being home and I miss Chad. I love seeing family and friends and yet I somehow feel disconnected. My words feel flat and insignificant so I hesitate to speak or write.
Well, for those looking for an update I'm sorry I don't have anything more profound than aged wood breaking. Rings of life broken by dryness.
April 17, 2008
It is difficult to be transparent when people are looking at you. Since returning to America I hesitate to write because the people I see everyday will possibly read the words I'm writing now. I prefer to write from a distance.
I also don't know what picture best captures what I'm feeling and thinking at the moment. I feel a sense of joy and brokenness, life and death, growth and atrophy all at the same time.
I love being home and I miss Chad. I love seeing family and friends and yet I somehow feel disconnected. My words feel flat and insignificant so I hesitate to speak or write.
Well, for those looking for an update I'm sorry I don't have anything more profound than aged wood breaking. Rings of life broken by dryness.
LIQUID SUNSHINE
March 19, 2008
The weather in France is often rainy and very depressing after enjoying the sunshine in Chad 118 days out of the 120 we were there. Friday of last week was beautiful so our team decided to visit the lake in Aix but unfortunately the sun was hiding the temperature was dropping. Kirsten had one mission, find the sunshine. When the light began reflecting off the water her and Jocelyn explored to the waters edge. Some scenes are beautiful but others are priceless.
March 19, 2008
The weather in France is often rainy and very depressing after enjoying the sunshine in Chad 118 days out of the 120 we were there. Friday of last week was beautiful so our team decided to visit the lake in Aix but unfortunately the sun was hiding the temperature was dropping. Kirsten had one mission, find the sunshine. When the light began reflecting off the water her and Jocelyn explored to the waters edge. Some scenes are beautiful but others are priceless.
THEOLOGY OF SUFFERING
March 12, 2007
With our desire to move back into Chad our leadership has asked us to consider our theology of suffering. This is something I have often thought about and occasionally written about on this site. Today at lunch I asked my 3 oldest theologians some questions concerning suffering. They had to give me stories from the Bible that supported their answer and here is what they said.
1. If you follow and obey God will he allow you to suffer?
Yes, you will still suffer because Joseph obeyed yet suffered and Daniel obeyed and suffered. Sometimes Christians suffer because they still disobey God like Moses not entering the Promise Land.
2. Does God allow Christians to suffer or does he cause Christians to suffer?
Both. Satan asked permission to torture Job and God allowed it. God caused the whale to swallow Jonah. God caused the famine on Egypt. God caused Joseph to suffer to save the people at the right time.
3. Why would God allow/cause Christians to suffer?
This was harder so I asked, “After Daniel suffered what did the king say about Daniel’s God?” They quickly answered, “You serve the one true God,” and the Pharaoh said the same thing.
I love to know that my children understand that we do not obey to avoid punishment but to magnify God (Maybe they don’t understand fully but the foundation is being laid). Often this obedience will lead to suffering that can be caused by God to magnify His name further through our lives and this is why God is still good.
March 12, 2007
With our desire to move back into Chad our leadership has asked us to consider our theology of suffering. This is something I have often thought about and occasionally written about on this site. Today at lunch I asked my 3 oldest theologians some questions concerning suffering. They had to give me stories from the Bible that supported their answer and here is what they said.
1. If you follow and obey God will he allow you to suffer?
Yes, you will still suffer because Joseph obeyed yet suffered and Daniel obeyed and suffered. Sometimes Christians suffer because they still disobey God like Moses not entering the Promise Land.
2. Does God allow Christians to suffer or does he cause Christians to suffer?
Both. Satan asked permission to torture Job and God allowed it. God caused the whale to swallow Jonah. God caused the famine on Egypt. God caused Joseph to suffer to save the people at the right time.
3. Why would God allow/cause Christians to suffer?
This was harder so I asked, “After Daniel suffered what did the king say about Daniel’s God?” They quickly answered, “You serve the one true God,” and the Pharaoh said the same thing.
I love to know that my children understand that we do not obey to avoid punishment but to magnify God (Maybe they don’t understand fully but the foundation is being laid). Often this obedience will lead to suffering that can be caused by God to magnify His name further through our lives and this is why God is still good.
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